Ancestral Possession: Whānau Addictions

My theory. One I truly believe in.

I don't even know how to describe it. You could call it a genetic burden. A makutu.

A curse.

You ever know someone, love someone. Who can be such a beautiful person, a kind person.

Then they switch ...

Most don't understand why this happens, most take it personally. In this generation when anyone exposes a hint of darkness ... we run.

We are taught to leave them, unfriend them, break up with them, avoid them. In most cases, it's sensible to do so. But in many cases, when it's your own child or the love of your life - it's heartbreaking.

Psychology looks at the history of a person, from the life they currently live. Childhood, upbringing, family. While these are all relevant areas to investigate potential trauma. I believe our whakapapa and blood roots should also be considered.

Our DNA is made up of the genetics of both our parents and the lineage before them. When it comes to our appearances, skin and eye colour, skills, learning patterns -this is a fact. But what if I told you, we also inherit the emotional wisdom and the wounds of those who hadn't a chance to heal before us. This is what you may know as generational trauma.

This may sound extreme. But if we think of domestic cycles, addictions, and similar behavioural traits through generations of whānau. This theory might not sound too far away with the fairies. We are all aware of the long term damage a traumatic upbringing can have. But there are many stories of those who come out of it, and those who don't. Despite the same struggle. Why is that?

This is a spiritual belief of mine. One I have noticed first hand with people I love. Related and non-related.

The pain is woven into their being and can not be undone unless it starts to be acknowledged.

Through my own experience, Māori and other indigenous cultures tend to have a stronger presence in this area of ancestral possession. I believe its due to our painful history of our cultural identity being stripped from us as well as our strong belief and practices in spirituality. These emotions from our tipuna are heavy to carry and the 'applicants' being from the same strong bloodline are already so magnetic and vulnerable to this type of energy.

As a result, normal and social practices are not satisfying enough due to the weight they are carrying unknowingly. Happiness is harder to reach. Their purpose is harder to discover.

These people tend to lean towards more instant gratification and impulsive behavior. No matter the consequence. Its not their fault, their brain has been conditioned this way. High-stress environments in childhood can influence the development of the cortex. Because of this, adults with a history of childhood trauma can struggle to make logical decisions.

This is where addictions can start. Drugs, gambling, drinking, infidelity or promiscuity. That instant gratification.

If the underlying truth continues to be suppressed - the mamae only grows and then the cycle continues. Throughout their lives and the little lives they produce.

Carrying the weight of ancestral and past trauma throughout your life not only deteriorates your value of life, but it ruins relationships, families and can diminish your physical health. It makes you sick. I strongly believe all emotional and spiritual turmoil results in poor physical well being.

Some words of love:

• If you resonate with these words - acknowledge you are not whole, it's natural not to believe or question your feelings when you don't understand them yourself. You need to acknowledge something deeper is unbalanced. Talk about it with your safe person, identify it.

• Accept and open yourself to receiving help and support. There is no shame in that. You deserve it.

• Replace the need for gratification with progression. Let the progress of your goals and success be the rush you seek.

• Be mindful of what you consume, mentally and physically. What you eat, believe and perceive is what fuels you. Make sure this fuel is benefitting you, nourishing you and evolving you. 

• Prioritise consistency. As Kobe Bryant believed, it is the consistent 1% you give each day that ultimately leads to greatness.

Whānau is one of our greatest medicines. It may be the family that raised us or the family we gather along the way—our friends, our people, our community. And when we stand as a pillar for someone we love, let us remember: connection, always, before correction.

Ehara taku toa i te toa takitahi, engari he toa takitini